The smashing isn't optional and it's not just for drama — it creates jagged edges that catch the dressing in a way sliced cucumber never would. Fast, satisfying to make, impossible to stop eating.
why it works
Cucumbers are mostly water, which sounds boring until you're hot and tired and this is all you want to eat. Ginger is genuinely anti-inflammatory. Sesame adds healthy fats and calcium. The whole thing is under 150 calories as a side dish. It's one of those rare cases where the healthy option is also the most refreshing option.
Put the cucumbers on a chopping board and smash them with the flat of a large knife or the bottom of a heavy pan. Give them a proper whack — you want them to split and crack open along their length. Roughly chop into irregular 3–4cm chunks.
Toss with the salt and leave in a colander for 10 minutes. This step draws out the water so the dressing doesn't get diluted. Do not skip it.
While the cucumbers drain, mix the rice vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, chilli oil, sugar, ginger, and garlic in a bowl. Taste it — it should be bright, salty, a little funky. Adjust the chilli to your preference.
Squeeze the cucumber pieces in your hands to remove any remaining water, then transfer to the bowl with the dressing. Toss well to coat everything.
Top with spring onions and sesame seeds. Eat straight away — this doesn't keep, the salt will do its job too well overnight and you'll end up with cucumber brine.